The actual reason why you will never feel ready for your baby
Feeling ready for something in our minds often equals we already know what is coming and we are prepared.
But the truth is we never do...
which makes us never feel ready, procrastinate and stay wishing
instead of going for it.
So what is hiding behind the longing to feel/be ready?
Do you feel scared of the unknown?
Do you have tools that offer stability?
Do you know how to regulate yourself?
——-> Look at who you grew up with and what you learned from them about regulating yourself and how they dealt with things that were out of their control. What can you find?
Maybe you experienced a lot of stress and a hectic lifegrowing up especially when the unknown was there (e.g. worries about money, uncertainty was handled with numbing or heightened emotions, or silenced out even though you could feel something is going on ...)
Your surroundings were in constant try to control life and there was almost no space to listen and flow with it.
Not much sense of “it’s gonna work out”.
If your care providers/parents taught you through their actions that the unknown is to be feared and you need to do your best to be prepared for every possible happening,
then no wonder that ...
...you do not know how to feel safe even when you do not know what is coming.
...you can not connect to your curiousity of what a certain experience is going to teach you.
...you capacity to focus on growth is smaller than focusing on fear.
...for a big life event like having a baby you won’t ever feel ready or capable as it is the least plannable and unforeseen experience existing.
Time for a moment of compassion for yourself.
At some point following what your surroundings were providing was very smart and made so much sense.
They also didn’t know better, love.
Now it can be your time to change.
Your time to shift.
Your time to lay yourself into the unknown.
With a full heart. A burning heart. A longing heart. A heart that wants to know that it is loved by life. A heart that knows it can surrender and dance playfully with existence.
A decision for yourself.
For your partner. Your family.
For your future children.
It’s your time to take care of yourself and remember trust is available.You didn’t come here to live in fear!
Notice where you have been feeling “I am not ready” AND
did it anyway in your life
How did that turn out?
What did you learn?
How did it make you grow?
Invitation:
Practice with smaller things.
Notice the moments that you feel only safe about if you (try to be) are perfect or that you try to control in some other way. Try to choose something that you normally would not.
Try to bring a tiny bit more trust that it will work out. Try to release the thought of you knowing how it should turn out/what is the best way. Let a friend plan a day and trust them. Get surprised. Get curious.
because...